My Story-My life

I was born on the 26 November 1989 in Lusaka Zambia, I now live in Windhoek Namibia, a country with 1.8 million population here in Africa. I was raised up by two separate beings whom are my mum and dad, they were never married. Dad was living in the UK since i was a child so i never got to see him that much.

Lived with my mum as i was the only child to both my mum and dad. Mum started dating her boyfriend (not my dad) they lived together, laughed together and fought almost every day. I got use to their fights till i was 6 years old when my mum, myself and her boyfriend were sitting having an afternoon supper. He didn't appreciate my mum's food so he called her to join him in their room. He started hitting her and i realize that my mum is in pain as to how i heard her scream. I went to stand spying at their room door to see what's happening then i saw him hitting my mother with a bottle on the head while she was still on the ground. Mum was bleeding till she can hardly scream. He left her and i ran in the room to my mum, trying to stop her from bleeding, my mum was still looking at me. The neighbors came to see what they have heard when my mum was still screaming then one lady told me that its too late- they closed her eyes that were still staring at me and that was it.

After my mum died, i moved to Angola to live with mum's sister that live there. I didn't know my dad then but i always want to meet him and say hi. My aunt always tell me that he is dead as well. I went on looking for my dad when i was 8 years old as i started going to Namibia with aunt to visit her friends. On my aunt's radio i heard an announcement my dad looking for me. I found my dad then i came to live with him in Namibia. He was married to my step mum, he had no kid apart from me. In 2000 my little half sister was born. I was so happy to have her in my life.

2001 i got saved at the age of 12. I was so happy for my new life, serving God, doing dramas at church, reading my Bible and praying everyday. I started attending church every Sunday. My dad noticed the change in me and found out that i am born again. He was not happy at all so he warned me to leave my faith. I prayed to God and told Him that i am not going to leave Him. Dad kept beating me every other Sunday when i go to church because he want to stop me from going to church, reading the Bible or praying. He said its disobedient and wrong. I wanted nothing but to be surrounded by God's presence. I was ready to die because of Him, i have studied my Bible and i understood exactly what i was going through that time, therefore i did not let go.

I was really going through so much during that time, my dad did everything to stop me, he made me sleep outside night after night (I remember my little sister always sneaking to give me a blanket) while i'm outside because it is cold. When i was 15 i got baptized and received the power of speaking in tongues. While at high school, i started heading small groups. We prayed together and evangelized at school. We became more until my dad was notified of it by one of the school teachers. My dad beat me and mocked me infront of my High school mates. He took me to the Police station and have me beaten so that i deny that i won't go to church, read my Bible or pray. I refused to do that and continued to do what God called me to do. I was sick and really gone bad because my dad didn't even want me to eat his food. In all this, my step mum was behind it more and my dad was doing all his wife didn't like about me. I remembered my sister asking me if he really is my dad.

During my matric, my dad decided to chase me out of his house, him and his wife made sure that i don't set my foot in his house. I was 16 and slept in the street, couldn't write my matric exams (Grade 12) and had nowhere to go.

A friend that i was discipling during that time moved to Windhoek after high school for university/ college so she took me with. Windhoek life is way too different from the town i was. I didn't have a church to attend and i couldn't think much but felt so heavy, anger was staring up in me and i started believing what my dad said: 'you'll never make it in life, you're stupid, you're going nowhere and wherever you go i will deny that you are my daughter". It was hard! I cried all the time, thinking of how my mum died and where i am now. I started hanging out with a gang of guys and gave in, i smoked, did drugs and drank alcohol.

I have been doing all this and when i was 18 i tried to commit suicide, i overdose and found myself in the hospital. I wanted to die that's all. While in hospital, a friend came to visit me with someone from Every Nation/ His People church Windhoek. She prayed for me and took responsibility to take me in rehab. After rehab i went to victory weekend, God delivered me and helped me and made me new again. I started volunteering with vulnerable and HIV/AIDS children center. I also worked on Sunday as children's church volunteer at church, went to do missionary around the country with children.

I can say during a time i was, God carried me and met my needs to where i am today. God's word was clear on my heart and inside me that: He will never leave me nor forsake me (I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5)

I am who i am today because of His love for me.

Christ Had His Disciples as His Friends And So Did He Gave Me A Friend

Her life had been a journey that she can say was worth a try. She walk bare foot, ran with them and reached a destiny to the end. It was and had always been of such a great journey of big and huge challenges, but she walked and ran with it. She had always been through it though- simply because she was strengthened to carry on though she could grow weary on it sometimes.

Throughout all this she managed to reach on a front door that was wide open, inviting and really worth her mile of walking and running to that open house that had always been open even though she didn't know that she was invited or could easily enter in it. Two years before she found this incredible treasure she wondered in a desert filled with other incredible treasures that had different views of the treasure in her and different opinions about that thing that is in her. Half of her was like an open floor for other treasures to enter and the other half was still the old her, the old treasure that had been lost and crushed. It couldn't accept itself or look herself in the way that she was created and neither was she ready to hear what other treasures think of her. It was almost one of those moments where she could just keep quiet and sweep away-out of it. Reaching the front door from all those that were behind her during time of the race, she finally got relieved and started breathing proper again. She came to meet the life of this treasure and as she lived and walked with her, she could once again live and think as in to her saying: ONCE HURT, TWICE EMBRACED. Life was the same but yet with a huge difference that could once again make sense in her hearts of heart. She could laugh and smile again, and simply walk on shallow water without easily falling just because she had met an incredible treasure. A real treasure that God had always want her to meet. The only one that she asked Him for.

They started walking this journey in a forest, taking pictures of God's creation and His beauty around them. Every step they take they shared how beautiful creation is. How they each walked their journey since God's creation of them. It was incredible just as they are, to find out how much they have in common. How beautiful and unimaginable can God be! Felt a little lost in the forest and got a bit worried but later realized that it was God's plan (My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways; Declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8) Their talk led to a point of a strong incredible friendship filled with the ransom of His beauty and a life unending. 9 months later God proved His promises in both their lives. Sharing hopes, dreams, love, faith and belief. Praying for each other, supporting and walking in love with one another.

She had been there and still is there for her, she cries with her and plays with her. She had been the most precious gift God had brought in her life so far. Being an over comer through Christ that was revealed to her after all, she keeps helping her friend everyday, sharing so much of how she had over come and how she dealt with it after all and that her friend can do it too.

My best friend- Caroline de Meerssaman has been the blessing that i for all could think of everyday. With so many remarks painted around us and with so much to overcome and bring out of this world, i will say that i am thankful to have a friend- indeed she is!

She Is A Woman

Born on the 26 November on a rainy day at around 06h00am in Zambia. Grew up with mom until the age of 8. Later moved to aunt's place Angola. While there unhappy although aunt was such a wonderful mother and care giver. 4 years later, moved to Namibia after finding her long lost dad that she had only seen once since her birth. Got a sister after as a gift or answered prayer from God. In Namibia learned new things and met new friends.

Parents always showed love although they were just doing it to keep her, as she had always wanted to leave. Not always open in many ways/ situations. Younger sister seems to look make laughter her hobby. Young sister looks upon her as a role model, perfect girl or in an example. Inside everything seem so dim, needs help, feels lonely and very much afraid of both life and failure. Got to know a very good friend that means a lot to her. She later learned that He is always there for her any time. In every situation she calls upon Him, His name is Jesus. Never got any real friend, close friend to share life experience apart from her friend Jesus. Everyone think her world is so perfect, but it sure isn't because she is just a mere sinner like everybody else. Her face can always indicate sweetness, calmness but a voice inside always says DO IT. Rebuking has been her everyday issue because she believes and know that the devil is a liar and he is a defeated foe who has no power over her life. Calling on the name of Jesus always help her take away this pain inside her.

Today she is busy writing this...and signing off!

Life After all

Life had been so different the day that i first decided to lay down everything and be the follower of Christ Jesus. It was the most amazing time of my life, i was in zeal and ready to be used by the Lord. I was in absolute need of the Lord as my savior. I could only pray, read my Bible, go to church and blessing those that i could reach.

Life became so different until i came to see that indeed God is real. i was amazed by the many things that were happening in both my life and of those around me. It is a miracle that's what i said to myself. I thought i grew up fast, i thought i am getting old and ready to get married when i was 18 years old, i prepared everything including myself. It was really but yet i woke and it became a dream. Above everything i had only one desire..and that i longed for and i looked up and thought to myself 'no ways' this can't happen unless i make it happen myself. I had this desires to work with kids, i always love children, they make me smile and just such joy to my heart. It was not easy when i was growing up, i had such a dark life and all i could do was walk from it. Today my dream came true as God had it all planned.

I am working with Children this year, playing with them and discipling them. I enjoy doing this and every Saturday i look forward to meeting them and just look at their pretty faces and joyful hearts. Children are a gift of all and they shine throughout, i look at them and just get filled with joy and gladness of the fact that God really love me this much to have brought me this far that at the age of 21 i came to find my dream that He will carry me with and help me get to the point where i want to be.

God is indeed the best dad ever!

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